








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1477 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1250 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 686 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 879 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,350,154 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zedonian | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | Ahaqi | 46% | 306 |
| #3 | Nexeroc | 44% | 144 |
| #4 | BampyBapps | 44% | 241 |
| #5 | Retribution | 43% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BampyBapps | 44% | 241 |
| #5 | Retribution | 43% | 280 |
| #6 | ChloYutaty | 41% | 66 |
| #7 | werty1109 | 40% | 161 |
| #8 | Really, I'm sorry that I | 20% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | werty1109 | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Ahaqi | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Nexeroc | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Retribution | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | BampyBapps | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BampyBapps | 345 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Retribution | 303 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ahaqi | 301 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | werty1109 | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nexeroc | 87 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | +7.17 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | werty1109 | +1.02 | 46 | 41 |
| #3 | Retribution | +0.52 | 48 | 46 |
| #4 | Nexeroc | -0.13 | 41 | 44 |
| #5 | BampyBapps | -2.43 | 19 | 48 |





