








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 16% |
| Smokes | 165 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,887 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChloYutaty | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Ahaqi | 33% | 91 |
| #3 | BampyBapps | 31% | 62 |
| #4 | Retribution | 30% | 80 |
| #5 | emilymemeily | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | emilymemeily | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | werty1109 | 23% | 79 |
| #7 | Zedonian | 22% | 9 |
| #8 | Eespilcee | 20% | 51 |
| #9 | Nexeroc | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Retribution | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | werty1109 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | BampyBapps | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Eespilcee | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | Retribution | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | BampyBapps | 78 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Eespilcee | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | werty1109 | 41 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | +7.27 | 80 | 48 |
| #2 | emilymemeily | +2.83 | 51 | 51 |
| #3 | werty1109 | +0.60 | 39 | 34 |
| #4 | Retribution | +0.60 | 39 | 45 |
| #5 | Nexeroc | +0.32 | 37 | 48 |





