








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 424 | 10% |
| Smokes | 394 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2024 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 1259 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,157 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChloYutaty | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | BampyBapps | 49% | 116 |
| #3 | Retribution | 49% | 150 |
| #4 | Ahaqi | 48% | 162 |
| #5 | emilymemeily | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | emilymemeily | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Eespilcee | 44% | 144 |
| #7 | werty1109 | 41% | 94 |
| #8 | Zedonian | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | Really, I'm sorry that I | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Retribution | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | werty1109 | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | BampyBapps | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ChloYutaty | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eespilcee | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Retribution | 163 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | BampyBapps | 160 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ahaqi | 135 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | werty1109 | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | +6.95 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | emilymemeily | +0.81 | 55 | 46 |
| #3 | werty1109 | +0.34 | 43 | 48 |
| #4 | Retribution | +0.23 | 49 | 44 |
| #5 | Nexeroc | -0.39 | 42 | 43 |





