








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
57 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 99 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10 | 10% |
| Smokes | 25 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 46 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,300 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | M. Celine | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Panda | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | Noname | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | BliksemBliksemBoeman | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 2 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Pluneto | 2 | 0.0294 |
| #3 | M. Celine | 1 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 19 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | M. Celine | 8 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Pluneto | 8 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | 4dapse | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4dapse | +5.41 | 89 | 22 |
| #2 | Noname | +5.13 | 55 | 54 |
| #3 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +4.94 | 95 | 67 |
| #4 | M. Celine | +3.98 | 98 | 41 |
| #5 | Pluneto | +3.86 | 94 | 37 |





