








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 408 | 26% |
| Smokes | 346 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 336 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $207,646 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 狗石丹 | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | _-AstRo-_ | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Pluneto | 69% | 36 |
| #4 | 4dapse | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | BliksemBliksemBoeman | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sen | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Hugo | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 57% | 23 |
| #9 | daniel.vonk | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | M. Celine | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pluneto | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | 4dapse | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | sen | 3 | 0.0273 |
| #4 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | M. Celine | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pluneto | 137 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | M. Celine | 67 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | 4dapse | 65 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | BliksemBliksemBoeman | 28 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 狗石丹 | +3.43 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | Pluneto | +2.86 | 91 | 60 |
| #3 | 4dapse | +2.70 | 86 | 40 |
| #4 | De Zeewier Snuivende Zeekoe | +1.75 | 92 | 48 |
| #5 | Panda | +0.70 | 77 | 45 |





