








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 635 | 26% |
| Smokes | 797 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 536 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 493 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,373 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bnaugs | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | ♣ Dilly | 46% | 48 |
| #7 | я ē 𝗯 ù 𝐤 | 44% | 89 |
| #8 | Woots | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | CashMoe | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bnaugs | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ♣ Dilly | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | я ē 𝗯 ù 𝐤 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | CashMoe | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Kr1lla | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | я ē 𝗯 ù 𝐤 | 246 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bnaugs | 164 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♣ Dilly | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | ρ я σ м α | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | String Bean | 69 | 0.23 | 2 min |





