








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 426 | 30% |
| Smokes | 450 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 253 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,505 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | -Icarus | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | String Bean | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Bnaugs | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Kr1lla | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ♣ Dilly | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | Woots | 50% | 2 |
| #8 | я ē 𝗯 ù 𝐤 | 48% | 21 |
| #9 | CashMoe | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | tj3y | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bnaugs | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | tj3y | 2 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | dr | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | CashMoe | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ♣ Dilly | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bnaugs | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kr1lla | 51 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | я ē 𝗯 ù 𝐤 | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | dr | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♣ Dilly | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | я ē 𝗯 ù 𝐤 | +2.23 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Woots | +1.91 | 64 | 41 |
| #3 | ρ я σ м α | +1.37 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | String Bean | +1.32 | 65 | 85 |
| #5 | ♣ Dilly | +0.80 | 77 | 50 |





