








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,631 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 180 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5843 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4835 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5085 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4236 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,588 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 975 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | jokkimsen | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | 57% | 126 |
| #4 | Rubinstern | 55% | 149 |
| #5 | kulsi~ | 54% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 16 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | kulsi~ | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Rubinstern | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | eellie01 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubinstern | 800 | 0.27 | 24 min |
| #2 | kulsi~ | 602 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | LordEndre^.^ | 296 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | 228 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | eellie01 | 164 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulsi~ | +3.03 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | +2.68 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | +2.57 | 87 | 57 |
| #4 | Lars | +1.98 | 42 | 67 |
| #5 | jokkimsen | +0.84 | 83 | 72 |





