








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 99 matches | ||
| Esplay | 84 matches | 1,561 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13884 | 38% |
| Smokes | 8682 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9031 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4896 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,975 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 62 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 14 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Sjöö❤ | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | kulsi~ | 8 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | 595 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Rubinstern | 539 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #3 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 487 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | kulsi~ | 403 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | Sjöö❤ | 305 | 0.20 | 8 min |





