








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 859 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Esplay | 34 matches | 1,907 | |
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5433 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7865 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5997 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5570 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,821,640 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marmika | 75% | 48 |
| #2 | kulsi~ | 57% | 209 |
| #3 | Chillnub | 57% | 126 |
| #4 | Rubinstern | 55% | 177 |
| #5 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 53% | 314 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 53% | 314 |
| #6 | X | 52% | 69 |
| #7 | LordEndre^.^ | 49% | 305 |
| #8 | Theyhey☯ | 48% | 67 |
| #9 | 𐂃𐂃 | 44% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 74 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | kulsi~ | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃 | 17 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | marmika | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Chillnub | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordEndre^.^ | 1490 | 0.24 | 34 min |
| #2 | Rubinstern | 898 | 0.25 | 27 min |
| #3 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | 687 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | kulsi~ | 640 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #5 | X | 405 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kulsi~ | +3.20 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | ISS TH, BREAK FROM MM ツ | +2.28 | 75 | 53 |
| #3 | marmika | +1.83 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | ☂️ ✘aiizyツ | +1.33 | 88 | 56 |
| #5 | X | +1.33 | 77 | 83 |





