








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3762 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1510 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1352 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2489 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,324,611 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirLeX | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | Tom | 54% | 203 |
| #3 | Brenni | 53% | 230 |
| #4 | iBot | 52% | 143 |
| #5 | FELIX | 51% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | iBot | 52% | 143 |
| #5 | FELIX | 51% | 102 |
| #6 | 1TapNoKill | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | Nivlač | 46% | 50 |
| #8 | AnanAss | 42% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 25 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | iBot | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Brenni | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | FELIX | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | AnanAss | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 1973 | 0.46 | 61 min |
| #2 | Brenni | 649 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | FELIX | 570 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #4 | iBot | 524 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | Nivlač | 471 | 0.44 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirLeX | +3.43 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | Nivlač | +3.41 | 66 | 82 |
| #3 | Tom | +3.17 | 74 | 83 |
| #4 | Cindarella | -0.69 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | Brenni | -0.88 | 47 | 69 |





