








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1570 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1352 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1684 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,523 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1TapNoKill | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Nivlač | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | iBot | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | FELIX | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | SirLeX | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FELIX | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | SirLeX | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Brenni | 46% | 120 |
| #7 | Tom | 44% | 77 |
| #8 | Cindarella | 42% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | iBot | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Brenni | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | FELIX | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Cindarella | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 786 | 0.47 | 24 min |
| #2 | FELIX | 437 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #3 | Cindarella | 356 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | Nivlač | 318 | 0.41 | 10 min |
| #5 | Brenni | 303 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nivlač | +3.29 | 68 | 82 |
| #2 | Tom | +3.28 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | SirLeX | +3.05 | 77 | 49 |
| #4 | iBot | +0.23 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | FELIX | -0.09 | 69 | 69 |





