








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8139 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5549 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3215 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3592 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,403 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nivlač | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | Brenni | 55% | 319 |
| #3 | Tom | 55% | 165 |
| #4 | iBot | 55% | 111 |
| #5 | 1TapNoKill | 52% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 1TapNoKill | 52% | 110 |
| #6 | Hofi | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | Cindarella | 51% | 102 |
| #8 | AnanAss | 49% | 72 |
| #9 | MC. Akkuschrauber | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Brenni | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | iBot | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | 1TapNoKill | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | AnanAss | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 1678 | 0.48 | 52 min |
| #2 | Brenni | 867 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | 1TapNoKill | 481 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nivlač | 446 | 0.46 | 14 min |
| #5 | Cindarella | 426 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nivlač | +3.89 | 66 | 87 |
| #2 | Tom | +3.59 | 76 | 79 |
| #3 | 1TapNoKill | +0.31 | 53 | 68 |
| #4 | FELIX | -0.27 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | Cindarella | -0.28 | 49 | 62 |





