








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11020 | 38% |
| Smokes | 7432 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3437 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 7100 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,750 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirLeX | 59% | 113 |
| #2 | FELIX | 55% | 165 |
| #3 | Brenni | 55% | 370 |
| #4 | 1TapNoKill | 54% | 90 |
| #5 | Cindarella | 54% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Brenni | 55% | 370 |
| #4 | 1TapNoKill | 54% | 90 |
| #5 | Cindarella | 54% | 203 |
| #6 | iBot | 48% | 255 |
| #7 | AnanAss | 44% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iBot | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Brenni | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | AnanAss | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Cindarella | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | FELIX | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brenni | 1026 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | FELIX | 924 | 0.27 | 23 min |
| #3 | iBot | 897 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #4 | Cindarella | 759 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #5 | 1TapNoKill | 451 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | +3.32 | 75 | 80 |
| #2 | SirLeX | +2.20 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | 1TapNoKill | -0.79 | 50 | 66 |
| #4 | Brenni | -0.91 | 48 | 69 |
| #5 | Cindarella | -1.33 | 46 | 62 |





