








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2476 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2512 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1597 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3179 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,962 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FELIX | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | 1TapNoKill | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Cindarella | 65% | 60 |
| #4 | Eld4r | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | Brenni | 61% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Eld4r | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | Brenni | 61% | 113 |
| #6 | Tom | 59% | 113 |
| #7 | iBot | 55% | 62 |
| #8 | caable | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Brenni | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | caable | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | iBot | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Eld4r | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | 1122 | 0.46 | 36 min |
| #2 | Brenni | 345 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | iBot | 227 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cindarella | 224 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | caable | 181 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | +2.71 | 74 | 82 |
| #2 | SirLeX | +2.27 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | Eld4r | -0.29 | 89 | 48 |
| #4 | caable | -0.52 | 62 | 60 |
| #5 | 1TapNoKill | -0.97 | 50 | 71 |





