








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4917 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3814 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6475 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4204 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,348 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 785 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huliganhassan | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Maaki | 59% | 83 |
| #3 | ._. | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | LV | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Mattepatte | 56% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | woryaabdii Clash.gg | 53% | 36 |
| #8 | nbq | 52% | 67 |
| #9 | Quan Ching | 48% | 54 |
| #10 | sIW ♿ | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | Ea | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._. | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | sIW ♿ | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Quan Ching | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | nbq | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Ea | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maaki | 238 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | nbq | 178 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | mcknn | 160 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Quan Ching | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | sIW ♿ | 130 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | +4.79 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | LV | +2.25 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Mr.Bager | +1.55 | 47 | 72 |
| #4 | Maaki | +1.00 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | ._. | +0.98 | 50 | 67 |





