








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2112 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2732 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3088 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2364 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,644 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uncle P. | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | HaXsson | 70% | 27 |
| #3 | Snövits Torsken | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Mr.Bager | 65% | 37 |
| #5 | ._. | 65% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sIW ♿ | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | ._. | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Mattepatte | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | nbq | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | mcknn | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nbq | 224 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ._. | 170 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | sIW ♿ | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Maaki | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mattepatte | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |





