










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1225 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1466 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,792 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Weasel Man | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Rev | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Blazey | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | SydneyShonk | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キオ - Kio | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Blazey | 17 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | SydneyShonk | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Weasel Man | 5 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | Soup4U | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SydneyShonk | 137 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Blazey | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rev | 76 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | キオ - Kio | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Weasel Man | 63 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | +3.28 | 83 | 44 |
| #2 | cheeks | +1.91 | 51 | 61 |
| #3 | Rev | +1.59 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | +0.57 | 45 | 39 |
| #5 | Skater_kid283 | +0.44 | 58 | 58 |





