








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 708 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,136,208 of utility $307 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeks | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | MatchedKitten | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | HatTapper | 57% | 61 |
| #4 | Rev | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | kosovo | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Blazey | 47% | 147 |
| #9 | Soup4U | 44% | 185 |
| #10 | Skater_kid283 | 43% | 90 |
| #11 | SydneyShonk | 41% | 85 |
| #12 | Aleu | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | 33 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Skater_kid283 | 25 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | SydneyShonk | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Soup4U | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | MatchedKitten | 4 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | 302 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rev | 300 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Skater_kid283 | 203 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | cheeks | 191 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Soup4U | 167 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | +3.59 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | MatchedKitten | +2.99 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | Aleu | +2.23 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | cheeks | +1.57 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | BocchiTheAwp | +1.49 | 69 | 55 |





