








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 745 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1779 | 32% |
| Smokes | 987 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1896 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,423 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キオ - Kio | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Soup4U | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Skater_kid283 | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | BocchiTheAwp | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BocchiTheAwp | 6 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Blazey | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | キオ - Kio | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Skater_kid283 | 3 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SydneyShonk | 144 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | BocchiTheAwp | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Skater_kid283 | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Blazey | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Soup4U | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キオ - Kio | +3.65 | 92 | 22 |
| #2 | BocchiTheAwp | +3.28 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | Blazey | +3.27 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | HatTapper | +2.60 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | Skater_kid283 | +2.26 | 75 | 67 |





