








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1255 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2371 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1860 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1897 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,454,962 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kosovo | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | BocchiTheAwp | 56% | 64 |
| #3 | HatTapper | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | cheeks | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Skater_kid283 | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Rev | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | Weasel Man | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | SydneyShonk | 41% | 44 |
| #10 | Soup4U | 41% | 69 |
| #11 | Aleu | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キオ - Kio | 28 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Skater_kid283 | 14 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | SydneyShonk | 10 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | HatTapper | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BocchiTheAwp | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rev | 138 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | BocchiTheAwp | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Skater_kid283 | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | キオ - Kio | 112 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | HatTapper | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | +2.46 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | Aleu | +1.33 | 79 | 46 |
| #3 | cheeks | +1.29 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | BocchiTheAwp | +1.18 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | キオ - Kio | +0.17 | 84 | 28 |





