








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1587 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3533 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 1108 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1494 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,420 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weasel Man | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Rev | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | キオ - Kio | 44% | 185 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | 42% | 118 |
| #5 | Blazey | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rev | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | キオ - Kio | 44% | 185 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | 42% | 118 |
| #5 | Blazey | 41% | 69 |
| #6 | Skater_kid283 | 37% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キオ - Kio | 35 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Skater_kid283 | 25 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Blazey | 23 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Weasel Man | 5 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skater_kid283 | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | SydneyShonk | 162 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | キオ - Kio | 127 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Blazey | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rev | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | +4.43 | 84 | 44 |
| #2 | Rev | +0.93 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | キオ - Kio | +0.92 | 85 | 29 |
| #4 | SydneyShonk | -0.29 | 51 | 41 |
| #5 | Weasel Man | -0.64 | 57 | 38 |





