








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2541 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2757 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1631 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2076 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,930 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jobbo_Y | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | hy | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | IronTony | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | sKeLeTr0n | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Brett.io | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 5ch0lli | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | 777_Kewa_777 | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Allahu Akbar | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | Haaky | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | pauf </3 | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jobbo_Y | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | IronTony | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Allahu Akbar | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | sKeLeTr0n | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jobbo_Y | 130 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Brett.io | 126 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Allahu Akbar | 111 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | IronTony | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | 5ch0lli | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allahu Akbar | +2.70 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | pauf </3 | +1.74 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | TY$ON | +1.71 | 88 | 70 |
| #4 | sKeLeTr0n | +0.74 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | Jobbo_Y | +0.25 | 61 | 59 |





