








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3773 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3516 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1921 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3052 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,894 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #21 | Haaky | 47% | 34 |
| #22 | IronTony | 45% | 38 |
| #23 | Yuno | 40% | 15 |
| #24 | Enno | 38% | 16 |
| #25 | TRiBAN | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enno | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Haaky | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | TRiBAN | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | TY$ON | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | IronTony | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett.io | 272 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 263 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Deathinteresse | 194 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #4 | hy | 186 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | IronTony | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |





