








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 604 matches | ||
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8515 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9288 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4934 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 8574 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,158,555 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 58% | 175 |
| #2 | XUN | 56% | 126 |
| #3 | mule | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | JackJack3231™ | 53% | 130 |
| #5 | FMajster | 52% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FMajster | 52% | 125 |
| #6 | IsZo# :> | 49% | 229 |
| #7 | So3! ♫ | 49% | 68 |
| #8 | DrGhost | 46% | 61 |
| #9 | BOBER KURWA | 35% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FMajster | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | IsZo# :> | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | XUN | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BOBER KURWA | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FMajster | 1185 | 0.44 | 37 min |
| #2 | IsZo# :> | 762 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 476 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | DrGhost | 308 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | XUN | 255 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | +1.15 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | JackJack3231™ | +1.07 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | IronTony | +0.45 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | XUN | +0.11 | 63 | 75 |
| #5 | IsZo# :> | -0.94 | 69 | 69 |





