








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2503 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2077 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1662 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,713 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabzy | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Sunker | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | KanteOnly | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Haaky | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | Yuno | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Jobbo_Y | 42% | 12 |
| #17 | ✪ keanuS- | 35% | 17 |
| #18 | Jutsu | 33% | 12 |
| #19 | 5ch0lli | 31% | 16 |
| #20 | Dru3ckt13r | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | sKeLeTr0n | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Yuno | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Sunker | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronTony | 229 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 201 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Brett.io | 178 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | sKeLeTr0n | 178 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |





