








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2761 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3856 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1670 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3210 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $874,297 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | José Coolio | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | Lucauwio | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | IXPotterXI ™ | 59% | 68 |
| #4 | Chuck's Cuck | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Ed0 | 57% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Penguinflops | 50% | 32 |
| #12 | MF_James | 48% | 27 |
| #13 | Lissie Mcguire | 47% | 92 |
| #14 | Fu1krum | 44% | 27 |
| #15 | sletong | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguinflops | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | IXPotterXI ™ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Chuck's Cuck | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Qlipzi | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | -txN | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lissie Mcguire | 437 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | IXPotterXI ™ | 413 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | Chuck's Cuck | 226 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝔍𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔬 | 221 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ed0 | 206 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | José Coolio | +2.18 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | Lucauwio | +2.08 | 65 | 72 |
| #3 | Penguinflops | +1.99 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | Lissie Mcguire | +1.93 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | Ed0 | +1.84 | 72 | 61 |





