








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 684 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8576 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9882 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9386 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9317 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,801,989 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brodobagins | 57% | 116 |
| #2 | Antic | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | Moses | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | José Coolio | 49% | 70 |
| #5 | TwiztedAgony | 48% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Fu1krum | 47% | 62 |
| #9 | 𝔍𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔬 | 46% | 179 |
| #10 | IXPotterXI ™ | 46% | 276 |
| #11 | Penguinflops | 45% | 148 |
| #12 | Lucid | 44% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguinflops | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Lissie Mcguire | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Chuck's Cuck | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Brodobagins | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Antic | 8 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lissie Mcguire | 1745 | 0.24 | 45 min |
| #2 | IXPotterXI ™ | 1392 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #3 | Chuck's Cuck | 727 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | 𝔍𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔬 | 685 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | José Coolio | 378 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lissie Mcguire | +2.14 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | Ed0 | +1.49 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Brodobagins | +1.24 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | José Coolio | +1.14 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | Penguinflops | +0.92 | 85 | 48 |





