








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 768 | 30% |
| Smokes | 693 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 539 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 553 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,096 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emerica[e] | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Cyber94 | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | phugoth | 44% | 43 |
| #4 | ✪ Kevin2k | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | oc | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Kevin2k | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | oc | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Cyber94 | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | cKR[e] | 2 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 255 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪ Kevin2k | 96 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | phugoth | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | FsK[e] | 48 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Emerica[e] | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +3.46 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | Emerica[e] | +1.74 | 55 | 65 |
| #3 | gauths | +1.18 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | FsK[e] | +0.13 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | phugoth | -0.96 | 28 | 64 |





