








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1370 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2057 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1299 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1376 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,700 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loikkis #içinSevda! | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | m4SI | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | roberto | 56% | 132 |
| #4 | Jarza | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ✪DON | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪DON | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | Epik | 33% | 27 |
| #7 | Larzka♿ | 31% | 29 |
| #8 | tompur | 27% | 26 |
| #9 | TspK△ | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tompur | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Epik | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Larzka♿ | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | m4SI | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Loikkis #içinSevda! | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roberto | 387 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | m4SI | 256 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jarza | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Epik | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Larzka♿ | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epik | +4.41 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | roberto | +2.38 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | Godsane | +0.63 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | Loikkis #içinSevda! | +0.14 | 58 | 39 |
| #5 | ✪DON | -0.03 | 80 | 66 |





