








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2072 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2237 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3851 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2450 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,045 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sasquatch | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | jukub | 59% | 69 |
| #3 | Gernhard Reinholzen | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | tr2lof | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Kevin Kupferbirne | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Wigglers | 48% | 25 |
| #11 | trolof | 48% | 46 |
| #12 | Lezo. | 48% | 21 |
| #13 | tr3lof | 47% | 19 |
| #14 | oppi | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | WinTeK2$tronK | 16 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Shanqs | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | jukub | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Habelinho | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | 368 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | WinTeK2$tronK | 207 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shanqs | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | trolof | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Habelinho | 103 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WinTeK2$tronK | +1.43 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | max | +1.13 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | trolof | +0.98 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | jukub | +0.80 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | Kevin Kupferbirne | +0.41 | 68 | 59 |





