








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3243 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4666 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5085 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3667 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,241,286 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | tr2lof | 51% | 150 |
| #11 | tidi | 50% | 132 |
| #12 | Habelinho | 49% | 354 |
| #13 | Wigglers | 48% | 95 |
| #14 | oppi | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | 1038 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | Habelinho | 528 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | Shanqs | 401 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | tr2lof | 351 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | trolof | 338 | 0.12 | 9 min |





