










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 509 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1260 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1230 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1598 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1487 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,286,841 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAQ | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | Vladimir Bobocheck | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | volk | 55% | 183 |
| #4 | R2K21 | 54% | 207 |
| #5 | kehamas1n | 53% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | 483 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | kehamas1n | 367 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | volk | 213 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | LordToothy | 110 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | RAQ | 60 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | +4.14 | 49 | 73 |
| #2 | Vladimir Bobocheck | +4.11 | 43 | 68 |
| #3 | LordToothy | +0.32 | 54 | 44 |
| #4 | RAQ | +0.11 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | Jolly Rogers | -0.03 | 33 | 51 |





