








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 514 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 297 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4010 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4683 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3724 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3658 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,379,071 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | 34 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | volk | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jolly Rogers | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | LordToothy | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Vladimir Bobocheck | 7 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | 766 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #2 | volk | 354 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jolly Rogers | 231 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | LordToothy | 134 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | +5.05 | 54 | 71 |
| #2 | Vladimir Bobocheck | +3.52 | 49 | 65 |
| #3 | FrankReynolds | +1.23 | 49 | 49 |
| #4 | LordToothy | +0.49 | 57 | 43 |
| #5 | Jolly Rogers | -0.15 | 35 | 50 |





