








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 379 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2168 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3683 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4198 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3812 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,698,801 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jolly Rogers | 55% | 183 |
| #2 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | InVentus | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | Vladimir Bobocheck | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | R2K21 | 49% | 582 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kehamas1n | 57 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | R2K21 | 44 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Vladimir Bobocheck | 15 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | LordToothy | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Jolly Rogers | 12 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | 1028 | 0.08 | 26 min |
| #2 | kehamas1n | 833 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | Jolly Rogers | 275 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | LordToothy | 158 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vladimir Bobocheck | +4.55 | 54 | 64 |
| #2 | R2K21 | +4.34 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | LordToothy | +0.38 | 56 | 42 |
| #4 | Jolly Rogers | -0.05 | 33 | 51 |
| #5 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | -0.12 | 58 | 44 |





