








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 515 matches | ||
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4738 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7174 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8887 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 7698 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,755,377 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jolly Rogers | 54% | 207 |
| #2 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | 52% | 92 |
| #3 | LordToothy | 50% | 174 |
| #4 | volk | 49% | 582 |
| #5 | kehamas1n | 48% | 432 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kehamas1n | 71 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | volk | 27 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jolly Rogers | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | LordToothy | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | gardin | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kehamas1n | 924 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | volk | 560 | 0.04 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jolly Rogers | 321 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | LordToothy | 173 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2K21 | +3.78 | 53 | 69 |
| #2 | LordToothy | +0.28 | 56 | 42 |
| #3 | FrankReynolds | +0.14 | 47 | 50 |
| #4 | Jolly Rogers | -0.08 | 32 | 50 |
| #5 | Fadeaway CUCK( cucker) | -0.42 | 58 | 43 |





