








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8595 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6625 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4482 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6641 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,369,533 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robbob | 58% | 81 |
| #2 | MiMiK | 52% | 244 |
| #3 | siɱБa | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | 50% | 319 |
| #5 | Snipesrock™ | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | siɱБa | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | 50% | 319 |
| #5 | Snipesrock™ | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | MrSausage9 | 50% | 286 |
| #7 | MMang00 | 50% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | 36 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | MrSausage9 | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | siɱБa | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | MiMiK | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | MMang00 | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | 1498 | 0.22 | 47 min |
| #2 | siɱБa | 1145 | 0.26 | 30 min |
| #3 | MrSausage9 | 1070 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #4 | MMang00 | 520 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | Snipesrock™ | 276 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ohio | +3.28 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | MrSausage9 | +1.81 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | siɱБa | -0.67 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | Snipesrock™ | -1.00 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | MMang00 | -1.28 | 52 | 47 |





