








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11925 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10322 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8546 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8939 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,901,898 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiMiK | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | Ohio | 50% | 319 |
| #3 | MMang00 | 50% | 214 |
| #4 | slayer | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | MrSausage9 | 48% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MMang00 | 50% | 214 |
| #4 | slayer | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | MrSausage9 | 48% | 205 |
| #6 | Modern Baseball | 48% | 128 |
| #7 | siɱБa | 46% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ohio | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | siɱБa | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | MMang00 | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MrSausage9 | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Modern Baseball | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siɱБa | 1410 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #2 | Ohio | 992 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #3 | MrSausage9 | 636 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | MMang00 | 505 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Modern Baseball | 222 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ohio | +2.94 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | MrSausage9 | +1.37 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | -0.18 | 41 | 79 |
| #4 | siɱБa | -0.31 | 78 | 53 |
| #5 | MMang00 | -1.13 | 52 | 48 |





