








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4002 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3833 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2794 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3426 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,276 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KrolliePollie | 53% | 371 |
| #5 | slow | 52% | 187 |
| #6 | Manifest Jr | 51% | 362 |
| #7 | Wet Doorknob | 50% | 109 |
| #8 | spy_ | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manifest Jr | 29 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | KrolliePollie | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Kenway | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | slow | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Wet Doorknob | 9 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manifest Jr | 1629 | 0.21 | 37 min |
| #2 | KrolliePollie | 1368 | 0.17 | 38 min |
| #3 | Kenway | 765 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #4 | spy_ | 526 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | Wet Doorknob | 480 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrolliePollie | +2.19 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | spy_ | +1.00 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | Kenway | +0.86 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | mwngo | +0.52 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Wet Doorknob | +0.51 | 72 | 64 |





