








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 206 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5313 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4034 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3605 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,627,761 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 360 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Manifest Jr | 51% | 156 |
| #7 | PsychoDune | 50% | 58 |
| #8 | biscuitbuff | 50% | 148 |
| #9 | KrolliePollie | 50% | 195 |
| #10 | mwngo | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenway | 33 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | biscuitbuff | 32 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | KrolliePollie | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Manifest Jr | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | FromBehind?! | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenway | 757 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | KrolliePollie | 647 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Manifest Jr | 594 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | mwngo | 323 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | FromBehind?! | 302 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FromBehind?! | +3.21 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | Wet Doorknob | +1.73 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | KrolliePollie | +1.59 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | Kenway | +1.35 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | gohan | +1.15 | 81 | 52 |





