








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 311 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7530 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8161 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7446 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8814 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,283,029 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 635 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mwngo | 53% | 371 |
| #7 | Wet Doorknob | 50% | 195 |
| #8 | LegendLil | 47% | 108 |
| #9 | White Knight | 46% | 125 |
| #10 | thepi | 45% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manifest Jr | 41 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Kenway | 36 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Wet Doorknob | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | mwngo | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | slow | 14 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manifest Jr | 2083 | 0.19 | 45 min |
| #2 | Kenway | 1309 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #3 | mwngo | 1256 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #4 | Wet Doorknob | 849 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #5 | spy_ | 643 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrolliePollie | +2.86 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | Kenway | +1.38 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | spy_ | +1.01 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Wet Doorknob | +0.76 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | mwngo | +0.24 | 74 | 57 |





