








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5567 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3472 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1870 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3131 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,458,339 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 474 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | slow | 57% | 108 |
| #6 | biscuitbuff | 56% | 85 |
| #7 | Manifest Jr | 56% | 241 |
| #8 | PsychoDune | 55% | 53 |
| #9 | mwngo | 53% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet Doorknob | 34 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Manifest Jr | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | biscuitbuff | 14 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | KrolliePollie | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | mwngo | 8 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrolliePollie | 1056 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | Manifest Jr | 1023 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Wet Doorknob | 816 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #4 | mwngo | 618 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #5 | slow | 295 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrolliePollie | +2.42 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | Kenway | +1.79 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | Wet Doorknob | +1.71 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | mwngo | +0.33 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | spy_ | -0.13 | 74 | 64 |





