








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5309 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5126 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3440 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3957 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,040 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ | 63% | 88 |
| #2 | dino | 61% | 62 |
| #3 | GuM | 59% | 257 |
| #4 | 猴哥牛逼 | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | KOOSTA | 57% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Nuby | 51% | 65 |
| #14 | luffy | 48% | 48 |
| #15 | King | 46% | 48 |
| #16 | 淺淺爱吃McFlurry™ | 45% | 44 |
| #17 | cR. | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnoopMeow | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | GuM | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | KOOSTA | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | nuts666 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Arnab | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuM | 1536 | 0.30 | 43 min |
| #2 | SnoopMeow | 1034 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #3 | KOOSTA | 510 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #4 | nuts666 | 447 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | ♛ | 357 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuM | +2.97 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | zeal | +2.85 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | dino | +1.64 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | ♛ | +1.59 | 64 | 76 |
| #5 | HIGHFINGER | +0.88 | 88 | 59 |





