








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1411 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1245 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 615 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,302 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racooooon | 79% | 47 |
| #2 | putin bad | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | MadMat | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | Bob G | 72% | 58 |
| #5 | MRxRED | 71% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Honey | 60% | 10 |
| #10 | Deu7 | 60% | 10 |
| #11 | KlappmesserToni | 58% | 12 |
| #12 | CEO of Bavaria | 57% | 7 |
| #13 | quarky | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racooooon | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | TastesLikeMeat | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | KlappmesserToni | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Rubyi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Bob G | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob G | 412 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | Rubyi | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | MRxRED | 170 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | racooooon | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Honey | 70 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racooooon | +2.95 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | 浪人 | +2.16 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Rubyi | +2.08 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | TastesLikeMeat | +1.46 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | MadMat | +1.19 | 81 | 71 |





