








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2793 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2480 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2013 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2449 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,643 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRxRED | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | 浪人 | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Bob G | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | ↿Đrey- | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | Rubyi | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapitän zur See | 364 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | LX$ | 222 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Fluffy | 164 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bob G | 147 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mikki | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TastesLikeMeat | +4.16 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | Rubyi | +3.92 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | 浪人 | +2.48 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | MRxRED | +1.60 | 82 | 77 |
| #5 | Bob G | +0.25 | 54 | 77 |





