








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3066 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2485 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1501 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2594 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,706 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadMat | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | wuyu | 72% | 47 |
| #3 | Roxxon | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | racooooon | 68% | 57 |
| #5 | 浪人 | 68% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | TastesLikeMeat | 56% | 18 |
| #12 | putin bad | 55% | 76 |
| #13 | DannyDEcaprio | 53% | 17 |
| #14 | Haftbob Schwammbefehl | 48% | 21 |
| #15 | Honey | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 浪人 | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | wuyu | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | rabe | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | DannyDEcaprio | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | KlappmesserToni | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob G | 779 | 0.38 | 21 min |
| #2 | MRxRED | 392 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | 浪人 | 330 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | putin bad | 245 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | wuyu | 147 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubyi | +3.45 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | racooooon | +2.43 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | TastesLikeMeat | +2.35 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | MadMat | +2.11 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | 浪人 | +1.79 | 86 | 70 |





