








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3092 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1675 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2315 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,802 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Satsujin | 388 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | riptidee | 272 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Volund | 232 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | mrgeppetto | 162 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | jonny ☂ | 106 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain | +3.27 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | JakeAK | +2.23 | 81 | 54 |
| #3 | Satsujin | +1.75 | 85 | 73 |
| #4 | Stone Toad | +1.71 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Austin Reaves 15 | +1.66 | 80 | 57 |





