








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3844 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5457 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4311 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,909 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeAK | 58% | 242 |
| #2 | they see me spinning | 51% | 156 |
| #3 | Volund | 50% | 121 |
| #4 | TTV Drougen | 50% | 136 |
| #5 | jonny ☂ | 48% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeAK | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | they see me spinning | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | jonny ☂ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Stone Toad | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Volund | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonny ☂ | 1603 | 0.37 | 45 min |
| #2 | they see me spinning | 791 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #3 | JakeAK | 396 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | TTV Drougen | 323 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Volund | 213 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeAK | +2.98 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | mrgeppetto | +2.47 | 68 | 51 |
| #3 | Stone Toad | +1.36 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | they see me spinning | +0.39 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | Volund | -0.18 | 63 | 55 |





