








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4562 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3592 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3862 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2814 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,123 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lapaul Don | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Austin Reaves 15 | 60% | 106 |
| #3 | Captain | 55% | 128 |
| #4 | ToxicSloth | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | The Chinese | 48% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Austin Reaves 15 | 472 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Captain | 241 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Stone Toad | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | The Chinese | 124 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lapaul Don | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lapaul Don | +5.36 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Captain | +3.08 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | Austin Reaves 15 | +2.59 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Stone Toad | +2.24 | 81 | 58 |
| #5 | riptidee | +0.05 | 63 | 71 |





