








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2385 | 24% |
| Smokes | 890 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 4048 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2460 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,958 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | they see me spinning | 54% | 81 |
| #2 | j4son | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | JakeAK | 53% | 158 |
| #4 | Satsujin | 53% | 127 |
| #5 | mrgeppetto | 50% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stone Toad | 429 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Satsujin | 426 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | jonny ☂ | 376 | 0.37 | 11 min |
| #4 | they see me spinning | 338 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | mrgeppetto | 264 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j4son | +2.64 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | JakeAK | +2.15 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | Satsujin | +2.09 | 84 | 72 |
| #4 | mrgeppetto | +1.71 | 63 | 47 |
| #5 | Stone Toad | +1.59 | 79 | 53 |





